You are bound on the floor alone in a large room. The door is ajar and you hear nothing but silence within the house. You percept the sharp sound of high heeled boots clicking on the hardwood floor of the long hallway. The sound becomes louder as she approaches the room that you are in. The door slowly opens and…
How does your fantasy begin? What is your trigger? What thought or activity gets you so hot you can’t stand it? What do you think about when you come?
I know I have triggers. Things that are so intensely erotic that I crave them. It was a simple masturbation fantasy of domination that drove me to find a submissive partner. I had experimented with a little bondage and spanking in my former marriage but the fantasy I wanted would have been repulsive to my husband. This particular fantasy permeated my thoughts and I masturbated furiously. Introducing new activities to my husband was met with disinterest. Our sex life was technically functioning but I was a lonely, horny girl.
All I wanted to do was piss in a man’s mouth while he licked me. I imagined my self standing while he kneeled before me begging to be my toilet. I’d shove my cunt in his face and force him to drink me. Hubby wouldn’t party.
Next step, personal ads. Quickly found a masochistic toilet slave and I was soon living out my secret fantasy.
I’m with the slave in the bathroom, and I’m ready to go. I’m sitting on the can and he’s kneeling on the floor. I really have to pee and I’m nervous and excited. I’m in the bathroom of a suite, with a stranger, to live out my wildest fantasies and I can’t fucking pee! I run the water in the sink and admit my inhibition. All my life I’ve been programmed to pee in a room alone. It’s the moment of truth, and I release my bladder and summon the slave to service me. It’s an incredible experience to use a man in this way. It’s raw and crude and totally sexual. It was divine, and I knew that I had found what was missing from my lackluster marriage.
It didn’t take long to become completely obsessed with new deviant behaviors. The more bizarre and extreme the wetter my cunt became. I dripped with anticipation of torturing and using willing slaves to fulfil my perverted desires. What I once thought to be distasteful and disgusting was now beautiful and perfect.
I like having my man totally helpless while I toy with him. My inhibitions evaporate and I am supremely confident in my abilities to drive him insane, to the point he’ll do nearly anything to please me.
The most attractive feature that dominant women have in common is their confidence and lack of inhibition. Admitting my secret need to another person and acting upon it was the biggest step I could have taken to control my sexuality and revel in my femininity. It was selfish indulgence of wicked pleasures that thrilled me to no end. Taking control of my orgasm, making sure that my needs were met fully, and enjoying the pleasure that my body and imagination has given me.
Sexual repression, guilt and fear can be difficult to overcome but once the process has started it becomes easier to enjoy yourself and live out your secret fantasies. This isn’t the simplest matter when it comes to a possibly reluctant mate.
It is my belief that an active, healthy sexual life is imperative to a happy union. Couples suffer most from the tedium of repetitive and predictable sex. Our fantasies may seem strange to ourselves and it would be embarrassing to tell another person. We risk rejection and judgement. These obstacles would seem overwhelming and impossible to overcome. It just depends on what your priorities are.
I will never look back and regret the decision I made to do what I really wanted to do. It may seem shallow to place sex, as a top priority in my life but it is so much more than just sex to me. It feeds my spirit and gives me joy. It motivates me in my art and inspires my creativity. It allows me to play. It’s over a decade of depravity for me, living out all my perverted fantasies with no inhibitions. I’m still drawn to the special boys who open their mouths wide and drink me. There’s no feeling like it!
That’s just one of my triggers. What’s yours?
