The number of women into kink I have managed to meet through the simple statement, said jokingly: “God you need a good spanking woman” to have the reply come: “Yes please” is incredible. There are all sorts of explanations given as to why someone likes to be spanked or to spank. You can get lost in the myriad of psychological reasons. It seems spanking is one of the few lifestyle activities accepted by the general populace going by its embracing in all sorts of mediums. Always turning up as a dominance factor between the sexes in movies.

The joy’s of Spanking arose much later in life when I was introduced to it by a very experienced submissive woman when I was still trying to decide exactly what or who I was. The technique is something that is learnt along the way. Not something for those with weak wrists or very soft palms. The later can be cured by a nice pair of leather “spanking” gloves the former by exercise by squeezing of a squash ball. I toughened my own hands by spanking wet sand.

I like to vary the rhythm and the pace, starting softly almost kissing the buttocks like a flight of butterflies. I do this with great speed and it more a flagging or waving of the wrists, backs of the fingers actually making contact. Once the buttocks have been warmed I reverse the action and usually increase the impact pressure alternating hands. I slighting cup the hand, only ever so much. I stop and explore the buttock with my hand in a circular motion. Sometime I explore the vulva and labia as well taking care not to actually penetrate. A single kiss or a slight nip of the buttocks with the teeth also seem to have the desired effect.

The best position for me because of my height and a bad back is for the submissive to be either tied or draped over a spanking bench, (usually a drum like structure, padded), though as long as the buttocks are in a raised position to allow clear access, any position is a good position.

The trick to spanking anyone is not to actually hurt your hands. Certainly never to place a strain on your wrists in any way. If your hands aren’t strong enough then pick up a paddle. Leather, wood, even a ping pong bat is good, leather strap, rubber, wooden spoon, hair brush any number of objects can and are used. This saves the hands and has the desired effect on the person being spanked.

The fleshy parts of the buttocks, upper thighs, inner thigh, calves and don’t overlook the soles of the feet (combined with tickling). By the time the buttocks are a nice rosey red I am no longer striking with half impact. Towards the end of a session I am in fact (if the submissive is used to it) striking very hard. I like to finish a spanking session with a thick folded leather belt, usually taken off with a certain amount of display and shown to the submissive before use. Just be aware of wrap with a belt. It is very easy to wrap the belt around the buttock and cause large bruises or welts to the upper legs. When using the belt (unless it is your intention) I try not to strike in the same place twice but then I am not into marking the skin. Others are of course and some submissives enjoy having bruises to marks to display.

Depending on the type of play, voice is a good tool to use. Telling someone what you are going to do, when you are going to do it, telling how bad they have been. How hard this is going to be. Having them ask for punishment is all part of it. As is fantasy. Quite often the setting has to be appropriate: Reformatory, School Mistress, Head Master, Parents etc. I always question a submissive as to past experiences, any abuse? sexual, physical or otherwise? Where age play may cause a memory flashback or discomfort. But age play doesn’t have to be a part of it if it doesn’t appeal. Like all things to do with the BDSM lifestyle there is no set way of doing anything. The only rule that does apply is that you both enjoy what you are doing.

I was never punished by hand. Except of course the cuff on the back of the head if I didn’t rise fast enough to give a lady a seat on the bus or tram. Ah my father a man of the old school of morals, manners, grace and charm to whom I will be forever indebted. Having been raised on a farm a mother who was quite small, always very ill and beyond a long chase she found she could reach me with the flick of a whip. An Australian stock whip has a certain bite and isn’t an easy thing to master and inside a house almost impossible. So a spanking to me would have been “luxury”. Yeah, Yeah, I know you lived on the side of the road in a cardboard box and were hit with a brick each day. Well I had to eat a brick each day. Anyway I digress.

Why do people like to spank or be spanked? And why do I find it an erotic experience? I think that is for you to answer and if you don’t know the answer then perhaps you need a good spanking.

Read also the article about flogging

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