Submissive Collaring Ceremony

Submissive Collaring Ceremony

The following was but a suggestion for some friends to use. It was written so that it could be adapted or added to. A simple guideline. Feel free to use it if you wish. No suggestion was made as to music or setting. Both of which I feel are important factors in this ritual. Which ever way you look at, be it a private Collaring Ceremony or public, it is a ritual and as such deserves some theatricality. Either way it is a ceremony between two people. Serious lifestylers are of the belief that the offering of a Collar compares most strongly to a marriage vow or commitment. It is not something entered into lightly with little or no thought. I see Collars given and accepted within 5 lines of a conversation whilst on IRC. “Hi”, “hi”, “You collared”, “No”, “Well you are now”. In the world of reality it carries a lot more responsibility and should be thought of in that light, a serious commitment. It isn’t just an IRC dress code (bracketed initials after a nick). There are varying Collars which are offered: Collar of Consideration (given at the very beginning of a relationship), Training Collar (to indicate the submissive is under the tutorage of a Master or Trainer) at the end of which the collar may actually be surrendered, Formal or Slave Collar, Play Collar (worn at times of play only) this is usually negotiated at the time of collaring. For the wearing of a collar in public for some is an impossibility because of work, public awareness etc. 24/7 Collar (worn at all times).

The following Collaring Ceremony can be of course adapted for a Master/slave situation it was written with a Master/submissive in mind. I am not going to make suggestions as to how the participants should position themselves (kneeling, standing, head bowed etc) D/s is like a religion everyone has their own idea of exactly what it should be. I leave all that to the individuals concerned. But as in most things in this lifestyle there is no rule of thumb as to how a Collaring or anything else for that matter should be performed. If there has been a negotiated agreement or contract reach between the parties mention should be made of that agreement or contract. Any singular conditions agreed on should also be mentioned within the vow structure. For example you may have agreed that the submissive would not perform sexual acts in public with others, or that photography would not be allowed, or that the submissive would not be required to have children, that any monies earned by her will remain hers and under her control. Or that she only be required to wear the Collar at certain times. You get the picture.

And so to the Collaring Ceremony…

We have been joined in another place before the eyes of God and unto the laws of the land. We come together in this place today to make a commitment to each other that we are not at this time able to make unto the laws of any land. This commitment is without end, depth, breadth or height. It is immeasurable, cannot be seen, touched, felt by anyone other than us. It is a locking of hearts, minds, spirits and souls. It strengthens us and makes us one. We met by chance, a delurk, a letter into cyberspace an answer and the start of a journey together. Step by step. Trust grew, love grew. The gift of subMission was made and gratefully received. Treasured. As you my love, treasured beyond all things. I thank you for the gifts you have brought to me and for making me whole. You were and are the missing piece of me. This commitment we have asked you all to witness this day is but another step we are taking in our journey which we pray will be a long and pleasureable life together. In our hearts we have already made this commitment from the first time we looked into one another’s eyes. For love and trust are the only bindings that truly hold.


With the placing of this collar around your neck and your acceptance thereof, I vow to do everything I can to be worthy of you. I promise to hold you and keep you safe, to stretch you and give you flight, to respect the needs of our relationship above all others in the scene, to love you, honor you, support you in all things and be sensitive to you needs and desires. I acknowledge the trust you have placed in me and the responsibility that goes with my acceptance of that trust. To never violate or even threaten to violate that trust. I will endeavour to be open minded enough to learn new things. Strong enough to grow. In times of trouble, to be a supportive friend and partner, never forgetting that this is still a loving relationship between two caring people. Expect nothing less than perfection but settle for your best in all things. I acknowledge and accept with all my heart the gift of subMission you have made to me. The collar itself, a symbol of that which we already know… that you are mine and by it’s wearing you are safe to be everything that you are.



Do you accept this symbol in the spirit by which it is given you.


(Reply) Yes, and once said to you, Shall be Yes for evermore. I do so not proud or haughty…not arrogant or assertive but with reflection, unpretentious, in the spirit of deference of my subMission to you. With humility. The collar you offer me is a powerful reminder of the control I have surrendered to you. For you are my love, my own.


Repeat after me: I do accept this collar as an outward expression of my Master/Mistress’s ownership of me. I do so freely, fully and without restraint. I agree to honor our relationship above all others in the scene, and seek to fulfill his/her needs and desires as he/she allows. I will wear this collar with pride, knowing that my Master/Mistress cherishes me, respects me, holds me above all others. I promise to always communicate openly and honestly with Master/Mistress keeping nothing from him/her, I do hereby surrender control of my body and submissive soul for purposes as Master/Mistress sees fit. I will strive to be the best soul mate that I can be for my Master/Mistress and will not in anyway dishonour him/her. To love thee also in silence with my soul. I promise to keep myself physically and emotionally healthy. With a glad heart and freely-given consent, I welcome my role as submissive to my Master/Mistress from this day forward, until such a time as I am released or such time that I ask for release and release is granted.


With this lock I express the finality of my commitment to my Master/Mistress and surrender my body and passion to him/her whenever it is closed. Within the circle it closes, it allows him/her to do his/her will and allows me to follow in all directions possible. It remains as a solid symbol of my trust in my Master/Mistress without fear of outcome and allows me to give myself to him/her. By my desire to please and not because of fear of punishment. It keeps me safely within his/her bond and excludes all others’ powers over me.

Repeat after me: With each closing of this lock, I shall accept the depths of your passion, devotion, and trust to hold and direct as mine and provide a haven where you express all desires to me.



MASTER/MISTRESS(Placing the ring on submissive’s finger)
I ask you to wear this as an outward symbol of my ownership of you. One that the whole world will see, but only a select few shall truly understand. An infinite circle of intertwined rope that you may feel the strength of my commitment to you at all times.

SUBMISSIVE(Placing the ring on Master’s finger)
I ask you to wear this as an outward symbol of your ownership of me. One that the whole world will see, but only a select few shall truly understand. An infinite circle of intertwined rope that you may feel the strength of my commitment to you at all times.

And so we go forward together, bound closer now with outward signs of our commitment to each other. We seek to travel together on this remarkable journey, keeping each other safe and protected as we grow in profoundly moving ways.

I love you. I do not have the words to express the depth of emotion I have on this day; the gladness in my heart that you are willingly mine, and that the dark places within us can now come forth into the light to be examined without judgment, to keep or discard as we see fit. You are never alone, now, my love. I am always with you. Carry me in your heart and draw the best from me to you. And I will cherish you and carry you in my heart and draw the best from you to me.

Watch our videos with collared slaves.

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